Thumpnasty’s Week 6 reactions: I didn’t mean what I said when I said that stuff


Titans and Texans had themselves a hell of an entertaining game. Houston showed as much fight as they could muster, even taking the lead late. However, Tennessee has the closest thing to Tecmo Bo as I’ve ever seen in Derrick Henry. At one point he went back to the one-yard line and then ran through the entire defense just for shits and giggles. He’s a cheat code and he’s heating up. The Titans won it in overtime and have command in that division…


Indianapolis decided to have some fun by spotting the Bengals 21 points and seeing if they could come back and win. They could and they did. Way to pick on your little brother Indy, stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself, and giving hope to a terrible Cincinnati team. Have you ever seen a QB force his receivers to make highlight-reel catches when they’re wide open like Phil Rivers? It’s almost like are we sure he’s right-handed? Can’t take them seriously until they play a good team and win and right now they’re barely surviving trash...


After dominating for most of the game the Ravens did all they could to let Philly come back and win the game. Unfortunately, Carson Wentz is just good enough to get it done in garbage time only. Lamar Jackson remains the best running option for Baltimore. He just doesn’t look the same throwing as he did last year. They better figure that out soon, they got Pittsburgh coming up twice…


Speaking of Pittsburgh, they put an absolute beating on the Browns. I change my opinion on Cleveland, they’re not ready for a seat at the table with the big boys just yet. Maybe it was Baker was banged up, maybe it was the defense was just outmatched, I don’t know but it got ugly quick. Steelers are 5-0 and looking particularly nasty on defense…


If two teams play a game and no one watches, did it even happen? Apparently, Washington and the Giants played on Sunday. Couldn’t find it on TV anywhere, but I’m told it did take place. Who won? Who cares?


The Jets play football like they’re the first half of a movie where the ragtag bunch makes a run and wins it all. Unfortunately for them, and everyone really, the reality is they just suck out loud. What a waste of 53 American jobs. Miami enjoyed their scrimmage so much they’re installing Tua (not gonna attempt to spell his last name) as the starter after the bye week. I don’t even know how to end this except, with the first pick in the 2021 NFL draft the Jets select...


The Patriots-Broncos game that was postponed due to Covid finally took place, and it looked like the Pats were all still infected. Denver controlled that game throughout and withstood a late flurry to come out with a win. Had to hear all about Cam Newton coming back this week but he was outplayed by Drew Lock. It wasn’t a complete whuppin by any means but Denver used 6 field goals to get the W. Clearly the Patriots are just not the same team as they have been…


In the “Game of the week” Green Bay took an early 10 point lead on the Bucs, then Tampa rolled off 38 unanswered points to dominate the game. The defense picked off Aaron Rodgers twice and sacked him 5 times. Tampa looked focused and fast, the Packers looked lost and unprepared. This result put the Pack into second place in the division. Lucky for them 2 of the 4 teams are the Lions and the Vikings…


The Lions looked like world-beaters on Sunday, unfortunately, that world is a post-apocalyptic wasteland known as Jacksonville. Detroit dominated in every way but no one in Florida even noticed, still on that high of the Rays heading to the World Series I’m guessing. DeAndre Swift has his best game so far and Kenny G did his thing. All the optimism around the Jags from the first few weeks of the season has died a terrible death, they suck again…


Minnesota obviously believes that everyone should leave feeling good about themselves and so spotted the Falcons a 23 point lead. A few garbage time scores from a garbage quarterback made the score appear respectable. It was not. Reanimated zombie Matt Ryan hooked up with Julio Jones early and often and Atlanta got their first win of the season. They, and their fans, reacted like they finally won the Super Bowl. Calm down it was Minnesota, led by Kirk Cousins. Turns out Al Mattison isn’t the next Adrian Peterson, but it’s hard to get in a rhythm when Captain Kirk throws 3 picks in the first half…


The Rams have officially petitioned to join the NFC East, as they destroy all those shitty teams. Unfortunately, while that goes through the proper channels they’re stuck in the West where they actually have to play against football teams. Santa Clara essentially slapped them around from beginning to end. It looked like the Niners might be getting some players back and get a little continuity going, so of course, they lost their starting running back for another few weeks. They’ve been pretty snake bitten this year after getting all the luck last year. Evens out I guess. What’s with the Rams? Are they just another average team that beats up on trash? Starting to feel that way...


Chicago continued it’s smoke and mirrors tour, this time bamboozling Carolina. The Panthers outgained the Bears and seemed like they were about to score most of the game. Somehow the Bears eked out the win and are now 5-1 and in first place. I wasn’t exactly impressed but they keep doing it. Last week they looked good, but until they put together several games of good play I’m not convinced they’re really a good team. The super juicy matchup for David Montgomery failed to happen, frustrating many a fantasy owner...


What the fuck happened to Buffalo’s defense? The Chiefs just ran all over them at will Monday. Just a pathetic looking run D. How can they be for real if they can’t stop anyone on the ground? The playoffs are all about running and playing D. They better unfuck themselves quick or they’re one and done. KC barely broke a sweat in this game. Travis Kelce scored a couple of times and CEH had his best game by far as a pro. Kinda boring unless you like watching the same play over and over, but a win is a win, is a win...


I hope you’re all sitting down for this: Andy Dalton is still Andy Dalton. He did his best, and that wasn’t nearly good enough to do anything but make Cowboy fans cry. The man, and the team, are D-U-N. Good luck in the draft Dallas. Kyler ran circles around that defense and after a slow start, it turned into a blowout quick. Zeke should probably stop fumbling at some point. Cardinals are another team that smashes shitty teams, but they’re supposed to. Did you know Kenyan Drake was still on the roster? Me neither, but there he was running all over the Cowboys. Surprised he didn’t get lost on the way to the end zone to be honest…


6 views0 comments