Thumpnasty's Week 1's Dirty Fantasy Reaction

Updated: Sep 20, 2020

Week 1 All Hype and Rections....But can we see the hype become reality?//

Another season has begun, thank the merciful football Gods, and we’ve got one week in the books.

Written By the one and only: Thumpnasty

Lets Get this $^%& Started:


My initial reactions to the start of the season have to begin with the reigning champs the Kansas City Chiefs. They got off to a little bit of a slow start, but when they got rollin they basically looked as potent as they did last year. And just for shits and giggles they went and added a first round running back who looks perfect for their system. Might be a little early but a repeat looks all but locked up. CEH looks like the truth, Kelce did what he does, Hill finally got free after looking at double coverage all game and Mahomes looked like the best qb on the planet without even really playing like it. On the other side Deshaun Watson is gonna have some problems this year. A crappy defense that is forever going to put him in a position to have to throw is not going to end well. Will Fuller looked good, but how long until he gets hurt again? Same with Brandin Cooks. Turns out David Johnson is still alive, good for him.


The Baltimore Ravens looked like a team on a mission. And of course that mission is to make Baker Mayfield look like trash. Mission accomplished. That game got out of hand almost immediately with Lamar doing what Lamar do. Without even running all that much he lit that dumpster fire that is the Browns fully ablaze. Oh, and they also got a running back that will be a fantasy stud if not this year then very soon. Mark Ingram looked like he forgot his walker on the sideline when he was on the field...yeesh. Hollywood looked healthy and that’s not a good thing for the rest of the league as he and Lamar clearly have a connection. Mark Andrews continues his climb to the top of the fantasy TE rankings. What can we say about the backfield situation with the Browns? If you own Chubb or Hunt you are not a happy dude right now. Too early to call it a disaster as they were down big early, but I didn’t like what I saw. With all that talent and improving to the O-line this offseason they should be pounding the rock and limiting Baker’s opportunities to shit the bed. Has someone filled out a missing person report for OBJ? Last seen leaving a Golden Corrall with a group of fat bitches…


The Seahawks look like they’re gonna let Mr. Unliiiiiiimited cook, and that’s a good thing. He was almost perfect in the game, as many incompletions as TD passes. Of course he was playing a JV defense but still, this bodes well for Metcalf and Lockett for the season. Atlanta looks great on offense, as usual, with 3 wr going for over 100 yards...and still managed to get destroyed. Same old same old I guess. Julio is a monster and Calvin Ridley looked like a man among boys out there. Russell Gage? Gonna need to see that again before I get excited about you. I’m told Todd Gurley played in this game but I can neither confirm nor deny this claim as it was on during my Raiders game…


Speaking of the Las Vegas Raiders, future MVP and Hall of Famer Josh Jacobs flat out beasted the Panthers! Almost a hundo on the ground with 3TDs and even added some catches. The game was closer than it needed to be but it looks like Vegas has some competent pieces on offense. Ruggs looked good before he got rolled up on and didn’t do much in the 2nd half but he’s gonna be a playmaker for sure. Darren Waller appears to be a big piece of the offense, and they’re gonna need him to be because that defense is God awful! No pass rush helped Teddy Bridgewater look like a hall of famer. Spreading the ball around to 3 different receivers left him with decent numbers and Robby Anderson flat out abusing a rookie corner helped him put up some good stats. DJ Moore disappointed but it’s only week one. CMC, in a below average game, still scored twice and can hardly be called disappointing…


In the most anticipated game of the week the Saints put a whuppin on Tompa Bay, picking off Mr. Brady twice once for a pick six. Alvin Kamara went off scoring twice but may have ultimately hurt his team by rolling up the leg of All world WR Michael Thomas, who was having a very un-Michael Thomas game, and injuring him with the dreaded high ankle sprain. That ought to be fun for his owners. With Thomas missing some games it opens up for more targets to Kamara, Jared Cook and Emmanuel Sanders. Tampa looked like they hadn’t played since last year, clearly not on the same page. Mike Evans was hobbled but even Chris Godwin had a below average week. They have a get right game against Carolina this week so they should be fine…


Dallas’ yearly march to the Super Bowl took a hit in week one when Aaron Donald made that supposedly good O-line look like ragdolls as he harassed Rain Dakota all night long and the Rams were able to pull off the W. Bobby Woods has himself a nice game even though Jared Goff didn’t. Cam Akers is apparently not the man yet as Malcolm Brown took most of the snaps and the scores from the rookie. Amari Cooper has a decent game but Jalen Ramsey more or less shut him down and came up with the key play of the game by “flopping” when he should have been toast by Michael Gallup. Savvy veteran move. Zeke did Zeke things and CeeDee Lamb looked polished already but Dallas does what they always do, tease us into thinking they’ll be good and then shit the bed in prime time…


Aaron Rodgers has a chip on his shoulder apparently and took that out on the Vikings, flat out torching them at will. Davante Adams went absolute ham with 14 catches for over 150 yards and 2 TDs, if that defense steps up Green Bay could be back in the conference title game. Adam Thielen had a nice game considering they were all garbage time points, but hey they still count, and Dalvin did what he could. At the end of the day they got smashed and will do everything they can to forget it and move on. But that defense is suspect as shit…


Quick hitters for the rest of the games


-Cam Newton, is he back to being the old cam? Or did he just light up a shitty Miami team?


-Saquon better hope the D can pull something out of their ass or it’s gonna be a loooooong year


-Ben is back to throwing to JuJu and he couldn’t be happier, last year must have sucked. That D is fast and scary, gonna be a problem .James Connor got hurt in this weeks least surprising news.


-How did the Broncos lose a game when the others teams kicker missed 4 times? They’re not ready for the leap just yet


-Corey Davis is alive! Good for you buddy


-Marlon Mack’s season ending injury opens the door for Jonathan Taylor to be the #1 in Indy and it looks like they’re gonna need him to be legendary...wtf was that colts?


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